The Ugly Stick

Inspired by this thread over at Kulturblog (maybe counter-inspired), these are the five people Hollywood wants you to think are good-looking but are in fact quite ugly:

1. Julia Roberts - America's sweetheart? I think not. A brittle smile, giant chompers, and a muppet-like maw.
2. Sarah Jessica Parker - High-ho Silver! You have brush her coat twice a day.
3. Geena Davis - Again with the giant teeth. But nowhere near as offensive as Julia.
4. Orlando Bloom - Yeah, I know, all the ladies love him but this guy is seriously ugly. A troll-face with stringy black hair. Just ask yourself, can you imagine him in a non-period piece? Me neither.
5. Hilary Swank - Entertainment reporters always say how it's amazing how she can play a mannish parts. Not really; that's a man baby! See also: Jennifer Garner.