I don't know if I'm the only one who feels this way, but I think I've always been a reciprocal Mormon. When I am surrounded by Mormons, my testimony is inversely proportional to the testimonies of those around me. Whether I was at church or in the MTC, every one seemed to get on my nerves and believe really outrageous things, like caffeinated Coke and PG-13 movies were wiles of the devil. The closest I came to getting in a fight in the MTC was when a missionary in my district swore that Joseph Smith said there were people living on the moon, only in another dimension so we couldn't see them. I felt rebellious and not part of the group because I couldn't be nearly as cocksure as they all were. I am continually feeling doubts that the shiny happy people couldn't possibly understand.
However, when I am the only Mormon in a group, I feel like I need to defend the church from people who don't know anything about it, or worse, people who think they know all about it because they read a newspaper article or Under the Banner of Heaven.
My wife (a non-member) and I have attended the local Episcopal church a couple of times, but the whole time I'm there, I find myself constantly noting the differences from Mormon practices. I don't feel comfortable crossing myself or taking communion because I still like the Mormon way better, even though I haven't been to church in six years.
Am I cursed to always feel the opposite of those around me?