Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Reasons to stay

My list of reasons to stay waxes and wanes. It's been waning lately. It was pretty much down to one thing:

1. I love my husband, and I think he would like me to go to church with him.

However, today, another reason appeared:

2. In support of D. Fletcher, who has every reason to leave, and yet, stays.

Life is really complicated.


Beijing said...

I know a hetero couple, deeply committed to each other, who have a child (now grown). They made a deliberate choice never to marry, in order to show solidarity with a gay couple they're friends with (as well as all gay couples around here).

I would not have chosen that way in which to honor the struggles of gay people seeking acceptance, nor would I choose yours. But more power to you.

Ann said...

I don't know that this is the choice I'm making. I don't even know if it's the right choice.

My husband tells of a man he knew, an African American, who joined the church when he was not permitted to hold the priesthood. The man stated that even though he knew about the ban, he also knew the church was true, and so he joined, with faith that it would all work out.

As a white woman, I know that I would not have felt free to make that choice.

It's the same with this problem. D. is absolutely free to make this choice for himself, and more power to him. I think he doesn't have a bigger cheerleader than me, on all fronts. But I think as a concerned outsider, I don't know that the ethical decision is to support his choice from within.

Serenity Valley said...


The thing is, if everyone who takes issue with the church's stance on homosexuality leaves, then only people who support that stance will remain. That would be a bad thing, both for gay Mormons and for the wider church.

And so, while we can view continued activity as lack of support for people in D. Fletcher's situation, we can also view it as support of both gay Mormons and of the church as a whole. I think so, anyway.

Ann said...

I was probably not clear, Serenity. I think that staying is a way to show solidarity with D.

On the other hand, have you read DTrain's post on Unofficial Manifesto?

Serenity Valley said...


Now I get it.

Yeah, I saw it. I'm with RT on this one: DTrain should move to Berkeley.

Everyone should move to Berkeley. Living in a city with a Breast Pride parade really puts little things like intrachurch political disagreements in perspective.

Anonymous said...

These are my people, regardless of whatever crosses they may carry.

I could no more leave them than remove my right arm.

Seth R.

Ann said...

Seth, I left my people for these people.

Sometimes I feel like I sold my birthright for a mess of pottage.