Friday, October 28, 2005

Worst Halloween Costume Ever

Wow, it turns out that I got sick of the whole you-know-what discussion a lot faster than I thought. I'm over it; let us never speak of it again!

Moving on, I wanted to complain about the previous owners of my house. I hate them with the fire of a thousand suns. Besides painting tacky amateurish murals on the walls and jury-rigging all the window treatments with push- and straight pins, they also left everything they didn't feel like taking with them. I mean everything. We had to have a special trash pick-up ($35) just to get rid of most of the stuff. We filled an 8 ft. x 8 ft. x 4 ft. cube with all of their trash.

The only amusement I get is sorting through all of their ridiculous catalogues that now come to us. Please know that I am only exaggerating slightly when I say they get every catalogue printed. Catalogues full of dog costumes? Check! Catalogues full of gaudy Victorian furniture? Check! Yesterday I got their catalogue for Christian Book Distributors.

It contains the worst Halloween costume ever: BIBLEMAN! Yes, that's the real name. Just for your information, the light saber thingy he's holding is called the "Sword of the Spirit." For perhaps obvious reasons, they don't actually call it a Halloween costume.

Only slightly lower on the child abuse scale is this doozy: the Faithgirlz Bible Backpack. I mean, wow. Note that the front pocket has a clear window so everyone can see you are carrying around the Bible. That's how the Phariseez roll, yo!

I'll stop. I could go through the whole catalogue. I think I became a little more Mormon just reading this thing.


Susan M said...

Bibleman, isn't that a comic book character?

I'm going to work on Halloween as the Prince of All Cosmos, with his Katamari ball. And you have to be a bigtime videogame geek to get that one.

Anonymous said...

You're right, Bibleman is a comic book character (I had no idea). According to his website, besides DVDs, he also has a videogame and a live-action tour. Frankly, I am dying to see one of these videos. Maybe the have them on Netflix.

NFlanders said...

That was me. I forgot to put in my login.

HP said...

I believe that Bibleman is portrayed by Willie Ames (formerly Scott Baio's sidekick on Charles in Charge).

Susan M said...

Oh yeah, Willie Ames, I think that's right! He was on Eight is Enough when he was a kid...I had a crush on him.

A live action tour, really? That's awesome.

D-Train said...

Here's the real question: is it pronounced bible-MAN or Biblemuhn?

Bill said...

You might like the adventures of God-man:

Ann said...

I heart God-man. My little boy's babysitter back home has Bibleman videos for the kids to watch. She's a very nice lady, and I figure there's nothing wrong with him hearing a little Baptist in his life.

Wasn't Willy Ames on "Eight is Enough" back in the (mumble smruf)?

NFlanders said...

The real question is whether Bibleman is a step up or a step down from "Charles in Charge." It's a toss-up.