Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Playing with fire

I'm moving out of state soon (see you in hell, Virginia) and so I've felt emboldened to attend church for the past two weeks. Why emboldened? Because church is often like a barracuda; once they have you in their jaws, it's not easy to escape.

I like moving around a lot because my records inevitably get lost. I don't mind showing up for the occasional hour of church, but I don't want them bothering me at home. My wife thinks it's absolutely bizarre to track people down and invite them to church; the whole concept is very alien to her, and I think, off-putting.

My records for a long time were in my parents' ward, but somehow they tracked me down here. I have my suspicions how they got my address (my father, most likely) but thank goodness they don't have my phone number. I once got a visit from a man who said he was my home-teaching companion. He was very nice, but I still don't understand how I'm supposed to go home-teaching when I don't even go to church. One of the biggest mistakes the Church makes is trying to reactivate people by giving them callings. Sure, it might guilt them into attending for a while, but it ensures that they won't come back after they miss a few weeks.

So I am attending now, safe in the knowledge that if anyone does corner me and find out my name (hasn't happened yet, thankfully), they can't bother me for too long before I move. I am storing church up for the winter, since I am moving to New England, and it is my impression that it will be a lot harder to fly under the radar in a small ward.

I am almost tempted to reactivate just for the Elders' quorum help in moving, but even I have my scruples.


scott said...

Where are you moving- not that I want to forward you records, but I grew up in New Hampshire.

Dave said...

"Good fences make good neighbors" comes from New England. Sounds like your kind of place, Ned. I wouldn't be surprised if even LDS folks there adopt a less intrusive style of "fellowship."

I must admit that "track people down and invite them to church" is a delicious phrase.

NFlanders said...

Sorry, Scott, but I will soon be a Nutmegger, not a New Hampshirite.

Maybe you are right, Dave. I might fit right in there.

Rusty said...

It's funny you mention being inactive yet getting calls from your home teaching companion. My friend had to deal with the exact same situation. You're right, it's a bit off-putting to someone who isn't even being home taught himself (not that you WANT to be), it's just weird.

I must agree with Dave, I would imagine the LDS folks up in New England would have a less intrusive way of fellowshipping.

So why the move?

NFlanders said...

Rusty-- It's interesting that the primary mode of reactivating men seems to be home-teaching assignments.

I was pretty surprised when my HT companion showed up out of the blue. It just didn't make any sense; what if one of our families wanted a priesthood blessing? Or here's the message from the First Presidency, that I may or may not actually believe.

I felt bad for him, too. I mean, who wants an inactive HT companion? He was nice, but he let it slip that he was moving to Russia in five weeks. I figured that let me off the hook.

We are moving because Maude finished school and got a job up north. I have only visited Connecticut for three days in my whole life, so I hope I like it.

Ann said...

Good man about the EQ move. But how will we find your blog?!?!?

a random John said...

Oh sure, I fianlly get you rhome address and you go moving on me.

NFlanders said...

aRJ- Ha! I knew there was a catch. It's just like calling the 1-800 Book of Mormon number.

Ann- Since I won't have a job after the move, I'm afraid I'll be spending rather too much time updating my blog.

Eddie said...

Ned: Well, I'm not in your ward, nor am I your home teacher, but if you need help moving, I am your neighbor (give or take 20 miles). I could even bring Incrivel. He's buff (unlike me).

Anyway, good luck on the move.

NFlanders said...

I am touched by your generosity towards an anonymous, faceless blogger. You are too kind.

Maude and I thank you for your offer, but hopefully we will have both sets of parents and/or movers to help us out.

Thank you very much for the offer.